How to Bring Up Cannabis on a First Date

Knowing how to bring up cannabis on a first date can save you both a lot of time. For some people, it is a total non-issue. For others, it is a dealbreaker either way. The trick is to share where you stand early and lightly, ask where they stand, and then actually listen to the answer. This guide is for adults 21 and over, in places where cannabis is legal.

Why it is worth bringing up early

Cannabis is part of a lot of people's lives now, whether that is a weekend joint, an evening edible, CBD for winding down, or a medical card. It is also something a lot of people feel strongly about. If you wait until date five to mention it, you risk finding out you were never on the same page.

Bringing it up early is not oversharing. It is just being honest about your lifestyle, the same way you might mention you are a vegetarian, a night owl or a dog person.

When to bring up cannabis on a first date

You do not need to lead with it in the first five minutes. Let it come up naturally when you are talking about:

How you unwind. "After a long week, I like a quiet night, a good movie and a little cannabis."
Hobbies and weekends. "My perfect Sunday is a hike, then a nap, then tacos."
Food and drinks. If they ask whether you drink, it is a natural moment: "Not much, honestly. I'm more of a cannabis person."
Lifestyle questions. If your date asks about habits, answer honestly.

If you are on an app, many profiles let you note your cannabis preference. Use it. It quietly does a lot of the work for you.

What to say: easy, honest lines

Keep it short, relaxed and matter-of-fact. Your tone teaches the other person how to react.

"Just so you know, I use cannabis now and then, where it's legal. How do you feel about that?"
"I'm a CBD person. It's part of my evening routine."
"I have a medical card. It's not a big part of my personality, but I like to be upfront."
"I don't use it myself, but I honestly don't mind if a partner does."

If you are nervous about how it will land, remember that you are not confessing anything. You are sharing a fact about your life, the same way you would mention your job or your dog. Say it with a smile, and most people will match your easygoing tone.

Notice that each line ends with an open door. You are sharing, not lecturing, and you are inviting them to share back.

Ask where they stand, then really listen

After you share, ask. "What about you?" is enough. Then listen without trying to convince them of anything. People's views on cannabis come from all kinds of places: family, faith, work rules, health, past experiences. You do not need to agree. You just need to know.

Possible answers, and what they might mean for you:

"Me too!" Great. You can talk about what you enjoy, at your own pace.
"I don't, but I don't mind." Also great. Lots of happy couples work this way.
"I'm not comfortable with it." Thank them for being honest. It may or may not be a dealbreaker for either of you, and that is okay.

What not to do

Do not show up high to a first date unless you both clearly agreed to a cannabis-friendly date, where legal. A first impression is best made clear-headed.
Never pressure anyone to try it. Not even as a joke.
Do not make it your whole personality. Talk about your other interests too.
Do not judge their answer, whichever way it goes.
Never drive high, and never ride with someone who is.

If cannabis is part of the date, set it up safely

If you both are into it and want a 420-friendly date later on, keep it safe and legal: adults 21 and over only, only where it is legal, in private or licensed spaces, never in public places where it is not allowed. If either of you is new, start low and go slow. Plan rides home before anything starts. And remember that everyone's experience is different. This is not medical advice; if you have health questions, talk with a doctor.

Skip the awkward conversation entirely

What if you could start every date already knowing the other person is fine with cannabis? That is the idea behind 420 SpeedDating, our cannabis-friendly speed dating in Las Vegas for adults 21 and over. It connects people who use cannabis with people who simply do not mind, so nobody has to explain themselves. Smoking is never required, and nobody is ever handed anything at our events. Dates are 4 minutes and 20 seconds long, which is long enough to find a spark.

New dates are coming soon. Read more about 420 dating in Las Vegas and register free to hear first. Between nights, you can meet cannabis-friendly singles online at My420Love.

Your turn

Before your next date, what is the one honest, easy sentence you will use to share where you stand on cannabis?

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This article first appeared on 420 Speed Dating, part of The Love Effect family of sites.