LGBTQ+ Dating Safety Tips for Apps and First Dates

Good LGBTQ+ dating safety tips are not about being scared. They are about setting yourself up so you can relax and enjoy the date. Every dater should take a few simple precautions, and queer daters sometimes have extra things to think about, like privacy, being out, and spaces where you can be yourself. A little planning up front means a lot more fun later.

Why LGBTQ+ dating safety tips matter

Most dates go just fine. Still, LGBTQ+ folks can face risks other daters do not: people who are not who they say they are, people who might out someone, and spaces that are not as welcoming as they seem. None of that should stop you from dating. It is just a reason to build good habits.

Before you meet: online and app safety

Take your time. A few days of chatting tells you a lot. Someone who rushes to meet somewhere private, or pushes you to move off the app immediately, is a yellow flag.
Verify they are real. Use in-app verification if it exists. Suggest a short video call before meeting. Real people are usually happy to do it.
Keep personal details private at first. Your last name, workplace, home address and daily routine can wait.
Watch your photos. Avoid pictures that show your home, your car's plates or your workplace. Be thoughtful about what you share privately.
Never send money to someone you have not met in person, no matter how sad or urgent the story.
Notice inconsistencies. Stories that change, photos that do not match, or someone who always has a reason they cannot call.

Plan the first date with safety in mind

Meet in public. A busy coffee shop, restaurant or LGBTQ+ friendly bar for the first couple of dates.
Get yourself there and home. Drive yourself, take a rideshare or use transit. Do not let a first date pick you up from home.
Tell a friend. Share who you are meeting, where and when. Send a screenshot of their profile.
Set a check-in. Agree on a time your friend will text you, and a code word if you want an exit.
Keep your phone charged. Many phones let you share your location with a trusted friend for a set time.
Choose a welcoming venue. Pick somewhere you both feel comfortable being yourselves.

During the date

Watch your drink. Order it yourself, keep it with you, and get a new one if you step away.
Go easy on alcohol. A clear head helps you read the situation.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it is okay to leave. You do not need a reason. "I'm going to head out. Take care" is enough.
Stay in public. If they push to go somewhere private quickly, say no.
Ask the staff for help if you ever feel unsafe. Bartenders and servers are used to it.

Protect your privacy and theirs

Being out is personal, and it can be different in each part of someone's life.

Only share what you are comfortable sharing about your identity and history.
Ask before posting photos or tagging a date. Some people are not out everywhere.
Never share someone else's identity, photos or messages without permission.
If someone threatens to out you or share private photos, stop contact, keep records, and reach out to people you trust. LGBTQ+ community centers and support organizations can help you figure out next steps.

Red flags and green flags

Red flags: pressure to meet somewhere private, refusing a video call, asking for money, pushy questions about your body or identity, anger when you say no, or disrespect for your name and pronouns.

Green flags: they are happy to meet in public, they respect your pace, they ask before touching, they take no gracefully, and they are kind to staff and strangers. Those are the people worth a second date.

After the date

Text your friend that you are home.
Take time to notice how you feel. Comfortable? Uneasy? That feeling is information.
You never owe anyone a second date, a reply or an explanation.
Report and block anyone who made you feel unsafe on the app where you met.

Meet face to face, with a host in the room

One of the safest ways to meet new people is in a hosted room full of other singles. Pride Time is our speed dating for LGBTQ+ singles 21 and over in Las Vegas, and safety is built into the night. Our rules are short: be kind, be honest, take no for an answer, and expect the same back. Anyone who cannot manage that is walked to the door by the host. If anything feels wrong on the night, one word to the host and we will move you, reseat you or remove them.

You write numbers down on your card and decide who to call. Nobody gets your details unless you give them. Read more about Pride Time speed dating in Las Vegas, and see the safety basics on our learn how to date page. New dates are coming soon, so register free to hear first.

Your turn

Before your next date, which one of these safety habits will you set up, and which friend will you ask to be your check-in buddy?

Keep the love going

This article first appeared on Pride Time Speed Dating, part of The Love Effect family of sites.